Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Button Pushing
A while back I spent a good deal of time reading message boards on Yahoo. I still read a few here and there (both on Yahoo and elsewhere) on specific topics. I've discovered that no matter where you go on message boards and similar forums (including going back to my BBS days), there is always at least one person who posts something controversial just to get a rise out of others. Then, they just sit back and read the ensuing heated conversations with great amusement. I'm beginning to wonder if a recent question asked on the 100 Hours Board was asked by just such a person. Perhaps the questioner was completely innocent, but the resulting brouhaha is making ME laugh.
For those of you who aren't regular readers of the board, here's the original question. http://theboard.byu.edu/?area=viewall&id=34094 Over the last couple of days there have been a myriad of responses to it, mostly strongly polarized. There have even been a couple of comments that have just barely stopped short of blaming this poor questioner of being the cause of all sexual discrimination and rape in the US. It's amazing. There was even one guy who wants to be comfortable with his girl wearing whatever she's wearing to the temple. I'm thinking she better not like wearing sweats. Or even jeans. Sheesh. They did print one comment today that was fairly balanced and seemed to simply call for caution and restraint. http://theboard.byu.edu/index.php?area=viewall&id=34359 (Go Petra!) But even that one was a bit polarized. And here I still suspect that if this guy isn't a pot stirrer, he just worded his question rather poorly. Poor guy.
For those of you who aren't regular readers of the board, here's the original question. http://theboard.byu.edu/?area=viewall&id=34094 Over the last couple of days there have been a myriad of responses to it, mostly strongly polarized. There have even been a couple of comments that have just barely stopped short of blaming this poor questioner of being the cause of all sexual discrimination and rape in the US. It's amazing. There was even one guy who wants to be comfortable with his girl wearing whatever she's wearing to the temple. I'm thinking she better not like wearing sweats. Or even jeans. Sheesh. They did print one comment today that was fairly balanced and seemed to simply call for caution and restraint. http://theboard.byu.edu/index.php?area=viewall&id=34359 (Go Petra!) But even that one was a bit polarized. And here I still suspect that if this guy isn't a pot stirrer, he just worded his question rather poorly. Poor guy.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
A Presidential Candidate is Coming to Idaho!!!
How cool is that? I don't remember the last time a presidential candidate came to Idaho. Every third or fourth election we might get a vice presidential candidate, but a presidential candidate? Wow. Way to go Mitt Romney!
Okay. I understand why they don't bother. Idaho can pretty much be counted on to vote for the Republican candidate. And by the time we have our primary elections, the conventions haven't been held, but just about everyone has dropped out of the race and it's pretty much decided. I'd even convinced myself to not even bother evaluating candidates and deciding on my favorite this time around until May of next year since my candidate almost never appears on our ballot. Perhaps I'll rethink that. Hmmm....
Okay. I understand why they don't bother. Idaho can pretty much be counted on to vote for the Republican candidate. And by the time we have our primary elections, the conventions haven't been held, but just about everyone has dropped out of the race and it's pretty much decided. I'd even convinced myself to not even bother evaluating candidates and deciding on my favorite this time around until May of next year since my candidate almost never appears on our ballot. Perhaps I'll rethink that. Hmmm....
Friday, March 02, 2007
From my email
Top 10 reasons to elect Mitt Romney
10) The National Cathedral could be renamed the National Tabernacle
9) NASA could commission a satellite to 'hie to Kolob'
8) The Secret Service could be renamed the Sacred Service
7) All official government prayers could include the phrase 'that we all can get home safely'
6) Napoleon Dynamite could get someone other than Pedro elected
5) The President could not only explain things in Layman's terms, but also Lemuel's terms
4) The President could issue pardons in exchange for 100% home teaching
3) Not only could he pronounce 'Nuclear' but also 'Mahonri Moriancumer' and 'Maher Shalal Hash Baz'.
2) At his inauguration he would swear on the Bible 'as far as it is translated correctly'
1) Finally a first family large enough to fill up the White House
Now, to find out who Maher Shalal Hash Baz is.....
Oh. Here we go. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maher-shalal-hash-baz
10) The National Cathedral could be renamed the National Tabernacle
9) NASA could commission a satellite to 'hie to Kolob'
8) The Secret Service could be renamed the Sacred Service
7) All official government prayers could include the phrase 'that we all can get home safely'
6) Napoleon Dynamite could get someone other than Pedro elected
5) The President could not only explain things in Layman's terms, but also Lemuel's terms
4) The President could issue pardons in exchange for 100% home teaching
3) Not only could he pronounce 'Nuclear' but also 'Mahonri Moriancumer' and 'Maher Shalal Hash Baz'.
2) At his inauguration he would swear on the Bible 'as far as it is translated correctly'
1) Finally a first family large enough to fill up the White House
Now, to find out who Maher Shalal Hash Baz is.....
Oh. Here we go. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maher-shalal-hash-baz
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
A true rant
Yeah, it's time for me to complain in a completely unorganized fashion about something that makes no difference to me personally whatsoever. So be warned.
I was reading the 100 Hour Board today and there was a post that just bothered me. A lot. And while the answer was sensible, I'm not sure I was in love with it either. Here's the question with my commentary:
Dear 100 Hour Board,
This is sort of a sensitive question, and I hope I won't be harshly judged for it.
Dang. A true sign of a guilty conscience. But not enough information here to judge anything.
I am a happily married man. My wife is wonderful. She is intelligent, fun, beautiful, and the best thing to ever happen to me.
Good. Every husband should feel that way. And every wife should feel similarly about her husband. Point in his favor.
But before I dated/married her, I dated another girl for several years. She was a great girl and one of my best friends, but I decided things weren't going where I had hoped, and the relationship ended.
Best friends. Several years. This was quite a relationship. The kind that's really hard to leave behind you. But I'm guessing that after several years, if they weren't going to marry it would be a good time to break it off. Wait. One minor point. He never said WHO broke it off. Was it him because it was going nowhere, or was it her because she felt he was overly possessive or something and she thought they were just friends? That could play a MAJOR role in what he should or shouldn't do.
The thing is, the end was messy. Communication was utterly cut off. Bad feelings existed. I hate it when that sort of thing happens.
So, did she tell you to never darken her door again? Or did you tell her you never wanted to see her again? Either way, are the reasons for the break in communication still valid? If you shut her out so you wouldn't obsess over her, is that still a danger? If she shut you out, was it because you wouldn't take the hint and go and she just wasn't that into you? Or did you both stoop to name-calling and generally childish behavior because the loss of something dear to you was so hurtful? And does this sort of thing happen to you often? Or are you just trying to make light of something painful?
So the crux of the matter: though this was quite a while ago, the bad ending still bothers me. I still feel guilty on occasion.
Yeah, I'm breaking up a paragraph here. Get used to it. He feels guilty. So he told her to take a flying leap and broke her heart or acted exceptionally childish. Got it.
Not only was she not my girlfriend anymore, but I feel like I abruptly lost one of my best friends.
One of the worst things about the breakup of any long-term relationship. It's your friend you miss most. Seems reasonable to me.
I still think about her occasionally, wondering how she's doing and if her life is all right or laughing at something we did together or realizing she would be a great person to talk to about a certain subject, and then I feel horrible for thinking of her when I have such an amazing woman in my life.
Occasionally. Like every few months or more? Heck, I still think of my best friends from grade school occasionally and the things that we used to do. Does that make me a bad person? I don't think so. Or my first crush. Or whatever. So, is he feeling guilty because he remembers her? Or because he longs to be with her again? There's a HUGE difference there. I'm guessing he remembers other girls he dated (if there were any) or his first crush or whatever, too. Does he think about her that way? Then just go on with your life. Or is it more of a case of wanting things back the way they were? (Hint: they'll never be the way they were. Never.) Oh, and a reminder that his wife is amazing. Is he trying to convince himself? Or us?
What do I do? Do I just continue to wait it out (as I said, this happened a while back), or should I seek closure? Should I try to contact her, or leave her completely out of my life? And if that's the case, what do I do about the thoughts that still make me feel like scum?
A while back? Like a few months ago? A few years ago? A few decades ago? The answer may be different in each case. I liked the idea of a letter of apology if he feels it is necessary so he can move on. Ideally, that should have been done long before the marriage, but the world is seldom ideal. But he needs to decide what he would like to happen after he sends said letter. Depending on the circumstances, he may never hear from her in response to the letter at all. In which case the only benefit to him would be putting those feelings in one place so he can get rid of them. And perhaps he does owe her that apology. But what if she responds? Will he reply to that, starting an ongoing conversation, either consciously or subconsciously? What does he do then? Is that what he's really after? He needs to know ahead of time what he would do even if she responded professing her undying love and telling him that she's been waiting for him after all this time. Because that may be a can of worms better left closed. Again, it all depends on who ended it, why, and how.
I just want to be completely true to my wife, and I don't know what to do to resolve my issues. Thanks for your advice.
Resolving an issue would be disloyal to your wife? That worries me more than anything. This sounds almost more like a how do I get over someone letter than anything right here, and I've already ranted about that.
- Troubled
Hmmm.... Troubled is right. See, it all depends on how often occasionally is, how far back some time back is, and what he wants out of it. If he wants his best friend back, I'd say get over it and get on with your life. If he feels bad that he was a cretin, then apoligize, let it go, and get on with your life. But either way, the answer isn't to let her be his best friend all over again. See, that can lead to ALL sorts of trouble, that I may or may not rant on some other time.
One other random thought, perhaps he should write that letter for it's cathartic effect, and then either burn it or tear it into little pieces. It works well when you're angry with someone. You write down all the hurtful things you want to say but know you shouldn't. Then, somehow, having gotten them out, you can destroy them and find out you didn't need to say them so much after all.
I'm just glad this isn't me. I wish him the best of luck. No matter what he decides to do. And I think I'll pray for both him and his wife tonight.
I was reading the 100 Hour Board today and there was a post that just bothered me. A lot. And while the answer was sensible, I'm not sure I was in love with it either. Here's the question with my commentary:
Dear 100 Hour Board,
This is sort of a sensitive question, and I hope I won't be harshly judged for it.
Dang. A true sign of a guilty conscience. But not enough information here to judge anything.
I am a happily married man. My wife is wonderful. She is intelligent, fun, beautiful, and the best thing to ever happen to me.
Good. Every husband should feel that way. And every wife should feel similarly about her husband. Point in his favor.
But before I dated/married her, I dated another girl for several years. She was a great girl and one of my best friends, but I decided things weren't going where I had hoped, and the relationship ended.
Best friends. Several years. This was quite a relationship. The kind that's really hard to leave behind you. But I'm guessing that after several years, if they weren't going to marry it would be a good time to break it off. Wait. One minor point. He never said WHO broke it off. Was it him because it was going nowhere, or was it her because she felt he was overly possessive or something and she thought they were just friends? That could play a MAJOR role in what he should or shouldn't do.
The thing is, the end was messy. Communication was utterly cut off. Bad feelings existed. I hate it when that sort of thing happens.
So, did she tell you to never darken her door again? Or did you tell her you never wanted to see her again? Either way, are the reasons for the break in communication still valid? If you shut her out so you wouldn't obsess over her, is that still a danger? If she shut you out, was it because you wouldn't take the hint and go and she just wasn't that into you? Or did you both stoop to name-calling and generally childish behavior because the loss of something dear to you was so hurtful? And does this sort of thing happen to you often? Or are you just trying to make light of something painful?
So the crux of the matter: though this was quite a while ago, the bad ending still bothers me. I still feel guilty on occasion.
Yeah, I'm breaking up a paragraph here. Get used to it. He feels guilty. So he told her to take a flying leap and broke her heart or acted exceptionally childish. Got it.
Not only was she not my girlfriend anymore, but I feel like I abruptly lost one of my best friends.
One of the worst things about the breakup of any long-term relationship. It's your friend you miss most. Seems reasonable to me.
I still think about her occasionally, wondering how she's doing and if her life is all right or laughing at something we did together or realizing she would be a great person to talk to about a certain subject, and then I feel horrible for thinking of her when I have such an amazing woman in my life.
Occasionally. Like every few months or more? Heck, I still think of my best friends from grade school occasionally and the things that we used to do. Does that make me a bad person? I don't think so. Or my first crush. Or whatever. So, is he feeling guilty because he remembers her? Or because he longs to be with her again? There's a HUGE difference there. I'm guessing he remembers other girls he dated (if there were any) or his first crush or whatever, too. Does he think about her that way? Then just go on with your life. Or is it more of a case of wanting things back the way they were? (Hint: they'll never be the way they were. Never.) Oh, and a reminder that his wife is amazing. Is he trying to convince himself? Or us?
What do I do? Do I just continue to wait it out (as I said, this happened a while back), or should I seek closure? Should I try to contact her, or leave her completely out of my life? And if that's the case, what do I do about the thoughts that still make me feel like scum?
A while back? Like a few months ago? A few years ago? A few decades ago? The answer may be different in each case. I liked the idea of a letter of apology if he feels it is necessary so he can move on. Ideally, that should have been done long before the marriage, but the world is seldom ideal. But he needs to decide what he would like to happen after he sends said letter. Depending on the circumstances, he may never hear from her in response to the letter at all. In which case the only benefit to him would be putting those feelings in one place so he can get rid of them. And perhaps he does owe her that apology. But what if she responds? Will he reply to that, starting an ongoing conversation, either consciously or subconsciously? What does he do then? Is that what he's really after? He needs to know ahead of time what he would do even if she responded professing her undying love and telling him that she's been waiting for him after all this time. Because that may be a can of worms better left closed. Again, it all depends on who ended it, why, and how.
I just want to be completely true to my wife, and I don't know what to do to resolve my issues. Thanks for your advice.
Resolving an issue would be disloyal to your wife? That worries me more than anything. This sounds almost more like a how do I get over someone letter than anything right here, and I've already ranted about that.
- Troubled
Hmmm.... Troubled is right. See, it all depends on how often occasionally is, how far back some time back is, and what he wants out of it. If he wants his best friend back, I'd say get over it and get on with your life. If he feels bad that he was a cretin, then apoligize, let it go, and get on with your life. But either way, the answer isn't to let her be his best friend all over again. See, that can lead to ALL sorts of trouble, that I may or may not rant on some other time.
One other random thought, perhaps he should write that letter for it's cathartic effect, and then either burn it or tear it into little pieces. It works well when you're angry with someone. You write down all the hurtful things you want to say but know you shouldn't. Then, somehow, having gotten them out, you can destroy them and find out you didn't need to say them so much after all.
I'm just glad this isn't me. I wish him the best of luck. No matter what he decides to do. And I think I'll pray for both him and his wife tonight.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Things that make you go hmm....
At work we have openings for several interns. Now, this is not a summer internship. It's not a semester long internship. This is an until-you-graduate-if-you-want internship working 20 hours a week when school is in session and 40 hours a week when it isn't. We mostly get CS and engineering majors with a sprinkling of majors from the other hard sciences. However, a different section of our department has recently decided that they want to hire an intern as well. The section is research and they're looking for someone with diverse research experience (preferably a bit above and beyond simply using google) and possibly even someone who has experience customizing a search utility for a particular web site. As we were conducting interviews this morning, my boss was asking questions to see if the candidate had the relevant skills and the thought popped into my head that the ultimate candidate would say, "I write for the 100 Hour Board and more, I help designed the site search engine." It would never happen in 100 years (our internship agreement is with a different university in a different state) but I still think it would be the best answer EVER.
Does that make me an addict?
Does that make me an addict?
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Safety, Security, Sensitivity
I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes me tick and it seems that for me, it's a need for safety and security. Other people fantasize about trips to foreign lands, adventure, romance, carnal pleasure, and dozens of other things. Me? I fantasize about financial and relationship security. Other people dream about movie stars, power, prestige and excitement. I dream about never having to wonder how I'm going to pay my bills or how I'm going to pay for needed home repairs. I sometimes try to actively imagine how it would feel to be able to have a kid come home from school saying they need money for this or that thing and not wonder where I'm going to find the money this time. I can't seem to decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing. It means I keep my goals realistic (mostly) but does it make me materialistic? I don't know, but I hope not.
Akin to that is a need for security in relationships. After my husband proposed to me when I was in college, I used to wake up from nightmares that it was all some sick, twisted joke that he'd set up just to make fun of me with his friends. It didn't take me long to get over that, but it did take me a few years of marriage to be sure that he REALLY wanted to be married to ME. Then, a few years ago there was a pretty serious threat to the marriage. I spent a great deal of time certain that it was over. And it nearly was. It was a very rough time for both of us, and for the kids. Things are good again now, but do I feel complete security any more? Nope. Not yet. I keep hoping it will come with more time. Does that mean I haven't REALLY forgiven? Or does that mean self-preservation mode has kicked in? I don't know for sure and I may never know. But it is getting better, so I'll settle for that - for now.
The big problem with all of this, though, is some of the experiences I've had with threats to my safety and security, is I am much more sensitive now to threats to them than I've ever been at any other point in my life. There are certain books I will no longer read (and I LOVE to read) because of subplots that deal with dissolution of marriages and families. Random comments in dialogue in books, movies, TV, gossip in the hallway strike me much more strongly than ever intended and I have to fight my way back to the main points in the story/conversation. Certain words tend to trigger painful memories that I don't want to acknowledge. And I'm sure I overreact to innocent comments made in the spirit of fun. And I feel this sometimes overwhelming need to tell people not to make the same mistakes I made, even when they're not making a mistake and even when it's none of my business. Sometimes I want to take someone aside and tell them that there are things you just don't joke about. You may think it's all in fun, but to someone out there, what you said is really and truly painful. So, instead, I'll settle for ranting about it here. And hoping that I'll eventually get a handle on my thoughts and feelings that will make it easier to deal with the "real world".
Wish me luck.
Akin to that is a need for security in relationships. After my husband proposed to me when I was in college, I used to wake up from nightmares that it was all some sick, twisted joke that he'd set up just to make fun of me with his friends. It didn't take me long to get over that, but it did take me a few years of marriage to be sure that he REALLY wanted to be married to ME. Then, a few years ago there was a pretty serious threat to the marriage. I spent a great deal of time certain that it was over. And it nearly was. It was a very rough time for both of us, and for the kids. Things are good again now, but do I feel complete security any more? Nope. Not yet. I keep hoping it will come with more time. Does that mean I haven't REALLY forgiven? Or does that mean self-preservation mode has kicked in? I don't know for sure and I may never know. But it is getting better, so I'll settle for that - for now.
The big problem with all of this, though, is some of the experiences I've had with threats to my safety and security, is I am much more sensitive now to threats to them than I've ever been at any other point in my life. There are certain books I will no longer read (and I LOVE to read) because of subplots that deal with dissolution of marriages and families. Random comments in dialogue in books, movies, TV, gossip in the hallway strike me much more strongly than ever intended and I have to fight my way back to the main points in the story/conversation. Certain words tend to trigger painful memories that I don't want to acknowledge. And I'm sure I overreact to innocent comments made in the spirit of fun. And I feel this sometimes overwhelming need to tell people not to make the same mistakes I made, even when they're not making a mistake and even when it's none of my business. Sometimes I want to take someone aside and tell them that there are things you just don't joke about. You may think it's all in fun, but to someone out there, what you said is really and truly painful. So, instead, I'll settle for ranting about it here. And hoping that I'll eventually get a handle on my thoughts and feelings that will make it easier to deal with the "real world".
Wish me luck.
Monday, November 27, 2006
How to NOT get over someone
As I read yet another post on the 100 hour board today asking how to get over someone, I had to suppress the urge to submit this, but decided to post it here instead. Here are my suggestions as to ways to not get over someone.
1. Spend all your time thinking, "I've got to get over werf. I've got to get over werf."
2. Sit around all day moping and feeling sorry for yourself.
3. Play music that reminds you of werf and/or play heartbreak/missing you songs.
4. Check your messages/email regularly hoping they've changed their mind and tried to contact you.
5. Plot ways to get them back or get them in the first place.
6. Spend time thinking, "If only I _fill in blank_ then things would be just fine between us."
7. Arrange your schedule around shared points of contact.
8. Spend all your free time doing things you used to do together instead of pursuing different interests.
9. Reread their favorite books or rewatch their favorite movies and TV shows.
10. Read their blog daily to keep up with what is going on in their life.
I'm sure there are many, many more, but I can guarantee you that these will definitely help you to hang onto the pain and heartache of a breakup or a forbidden love.
1. Spend all your time thinking, "I've got to get over werf. I've got to get over werf."
2. Sit around all day moping and feeling sorry for yourself.
3. Play music that reminds you of werf and/or play heartbreak/missing you songs.
4. Check your messages/email regularly hoping they've changed their mind and tried to contact you.
5. Plot ways to get them back or get them in the first place.
6. Spend time thinking, "If only I _fill in blank_ then things would be just fine between us."
7. Arrange your schedule around shared points of contact.
8. Spend all your free time doing things you used to do together instead of pursuing different interests.
9. Reread their favorite books or rewatch their favorite movies and TV shows.
10. Read their blog daily to keep up with what is going on in their life.
I'm sure there are many, many more, but I can guarantee you that these will definitely help you to hang onto the pain and heartache of a breakup or a forbidden love.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
One Word
So, I got this unusual email from a friend last week. It asked me to describe her in one word and send it back. Then, of course, there was the normal, send the original to a gazillion of your friends and see what they have to say about you. First off, let me say that describing a person in one word is tough. Much harder than I thought it would be. But of course this piqued my interest and I did go ahead and send it to a few people. Here are the results so far.
My friends describe me as:
incredible
love
wonderful
perceptive
patient
real
down-to-earth
finesse
comfortable
generous
wicked (but not in a bad way)
kind
loving
courageous
Hmmm.... I don't remember telling them to be flattering. But I think I am, flattered, that is. Especially when I consider the sources of some of the descriptions. Who wouldn't be flattered to have their child call them patient?
Next: Time to work on my humility.
My friends describe me as:
incredible
love
wonderful
perceptive
patient
real
down-to-earth
finesse
comfortable
generous
wicked (but not in a bad way)
kind
loving
courageous
Hmmm.... I don't remember telling them to be flattering. But I think I am, flattered, that is. Especially when I consider the sources of some of the descriptions. Who wouldn't be flattered to have their child call them patient?
Next: Time to work on my humility.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Links
Because of circumstances I really don't feel like going into right now, I have a lot of enforced free time that puts me in front of my computer. So, I've taken to doing what so many people are doing lately and surfing the net. I've actually been using the "next blog" button on this page. A lot. I've found blogs about anything in everything. I've found blogs written by people in all walks of life. I've found blogs in languages I can't read. I've found blogs that have made me laugh. Or made me think. Or made me cry. Or bored me. Or apalled me. And everything in between. But today I found a blog that I actually found to be one that resonates with something in me. It's written by a young man about half my age at a stage in life I haven't been in for a very long time, but something about the way he writes and thinks touches me.
So, in order to remember to read his blog from time to time, I added a links list to the sidebar of my page. And since it looked so lonely all by itself, I added links to a few other pages where I spend some of my time on the net. Yes, at least one is a "celebrity" blog. And another is a blog of a fictional character (I'm positively amazed at the difference between this character played by Neil Patrick Harris and Doogie Howser, but that's a subject for another time). Some of them are informative. And some are just plain fun. But it's where I spend my time. Try a link or two if you like. :)
So, in order to remember to read his blog from time to time, I added a links list to the sidebar of my page. And since it looked so lonely all by itself, I added links to a few other pages where I spend some of my time on the net. Yes, at least one is a "celebrity" blog. And another is a blog of a fictional character (I'm positively amazed at the difference between this character played by Neil Patrick Harris and Doogie Howser, but that's a subject for another time). Some of them are informative. And some are just plain fun. But it's where I spend my time. Try a link or two if you like. :)
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
No Surprises Here
| You are a Social Conservative (36% permissive) and an... Economic Moderate (56% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test |
Musical Thoughts
"Teaching is not my main purpose. I want to make good citizens. If a child hears fine music from the day of his birth and learns to play himself, he develops sensitivity, discipline and endurance. He gets a beautiful heart." Shinichi Suzuki
"People who make music together cannot be enemies, at least while the music lasts." Paul Hindermith
"Music is the vapor of the air. It is to poetry what reverie is to thought, what fluid is to solid, what the ocean of clouds is to the ocean of waves." Victor Hugo
"As humans our best work is art. But artists don't leap to life full grown. They need good schools, patient parents and skilled mentors." David Rockefeller, Jr.
"Music is moral law. It gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, a charm to sadness, gaiety and life to everything. It is the essence of order, and leads to all that is good, just and beautiful, of which it is the invisible, but never the less, dazzling, passionate, and eternal form. Education in music is most sovereign because more than anything else rhythm and harmony find their way to the inmost soul and take strongest hold upon it, bringing with them and imparting grace, if one is rightly trained." Plato
"People who make music together cannot be enemies, at least while the music lasts." Paul Hindermith
"Music is the vapor of the air. It is to poetry what reverie is to thought, what fluid is to solid, what the ocean of clouds is to the ocean of waves." Victor Hugo
"As humans our best work is art. But artists don't leap to life full grown. They need good schools, patient parents and skilled mentors." David Rockefeller, Jr.
"Music is moral law. It gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, a charm to sadness, gaiety and life to everything. It is the essence of order, and leads to all that is good, just and beautiful, of which it is the invisible, but never the less, dazzling, passionate, and eternal form. Education in music is most sovereign because more than anything else rhythm and harmony find their way to the inmost soul and take strongest hold upon it, bringing with them and imparting grace, if one is rightly trained." Plato
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
While Almost Asleep
The other night, I had just finished watching an episode of Without a Trace where a girl who made her living turning tricks had disappeared and by the end of the episode, you found out she'd been desperately trying to get some money ahead, a job, and a nice apartment so that social services would let her have her little girl. In short, she was trying to change her life. A daunting task to any of us, and harder for a girl who didn't seem to have anyone to care about her or to help her. (The landlord reported her missing because she owed him rent and he was expecting sex from her.)
So, anyway, I finished watching this show and I'm lying in bed just sort of drifting and I hear this conversation between two women, one quite young and one older. The younger one said something about a career as a prostitute and the older one came back with a pretty sage assessment of that method of learning a livlihood. It went something like this:
"Honey, prostitution is *not* a career. A career is job you can work your whole life and learn and grow and develop. Have you ever seen an old prostitute? Well, other than the toothless joke that you find in comedies about trailer trash? Or in some small town somewhere where there's absolutely no competition? How many guys want to pay some woman as old as or older than their wife/girlfriend when they can pay some teeny bopper pretending to be a little older just a ways up the block. Or even someone your age? Nope. There's no future in prostitution.
"Prostitution is *not* a career. It's a temporary part-time job to get back at your boyfriend after he dumps you telling you you're no good in bed when the truth is you don't remember the last time he wanted you when he wasn't so drunk/stoned that he passed out before you got much of anywhere. Prostitution is what you do when you get all of his buddies to pay to sleep with you and then give them the times of their lives so they brag to him and all of their other friends about you and he realizes just what he lost in you. Then you move on before it gets hold of you and you have nowhere left to go."
Kind of a cynical woman, isn't she? But I kind of like her manner. I don't know if this is based on some memory from some book I've read or some movie I've seen but it was just so intense, I decided to share it somewhere.
Disclaimer: I, personally cannot fathom any situation in which I would advocate prostitution to anyone for any reason. Just because I like the character doesn't mean I want to be like her.
So, anyway, I finished watching this show and I'm lying in bed just sort of drifting and I hear this conversation between two women, one quite young and one older. The younger one said something about a career as a prostitute and the older one came back with a pretty sage assessment of that method of learning a livlihood. It went something like this:
"Honey, prostitution is *not* a career. A career is job you can work your whole life and learn and grow and develop. Have you ever seen an old prostitute? Well, other than the toothless joke that you find in comedies about trailer trash? Or in some small town somewhere where there's absolutely no competition? How many guys want to pay some woman as old as or older than their wife/girlfriend when they can pay some teeny bopper pretending to be a little older just a ways up the block. Or even someone your age? Nope. There's no future in prostitution.
"Prostitution is *not* a career. It's a temporary part-time job to get back at your boyfriend after he dumps you telling you you're no good in bed when the truth is you don't remember the last time he wanted you when he wasn't so drunk/stoned that he passed out before you got much of anywhere. Prostitution is what you do when you get all of his buddies to pay to sleep with you and then give them the times of their lives so they brag to him and all of their other friends about you and he realizes just what he lost in you. Then you move on before it gets hold of you and you have nowhere left to go."
Kind of a cynical woman, isn't she? But I kind of like her manner. I don't know if this is based on some memory from some book I've read or some movie I've seen but it was just so intense, I decided to share it somewhere.
Disclaimer: I, personally cannot fathom any situation in which I would advocate prostitution to anyone for any reason. Just because I like the character doesn't mean I want to be like her.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
What is it with birthdays, anyway?
Why does everyone seem to have at least one birthday that freaks them out? And why does it differ so much from person to person? I guess I'm saying this as one of those who hasn't yet reached my "freak-out" birthday. But I just don't get it. I mean, I do have moments when I feel old, but it's usually when one of my children reaches a milestone. And then it's just "I'm not old enough to have a kid who _____."
I guess 40 is one of those magic freak-out birthdays. I have a couple of friends who reached it with no big fanfare or trauma. It was just another birthday. I have another friend who started freaking out about it when he was turning 39. He decided that he didn't want to have birthdays anymore. And he wasn't going to acknowlege them ever again. Of course, his wife, being thoughtful about the approaching milestone planned a big todo for his birthday to soften the blow. That one took a while to get past.
Now, my husband is turning 40 in a couple of months and he's expecting me to throw some big party. I hate parties in general. I don't much like attending them and I certainly don't want to plan one. I'm completely out of my depth. To make matters worse, his birthday is on Thanksgiving this year. Can't have the party on his birthday unless I'm only inviting family. Need to have it right about then, like Friday, while the out of town family is still here. So now I'm dealing with house guests and a party. Two of my least favorite things. And he keeps reminding me that I turn 40 next year, etc., etc. and guaranteeing me that he'll be throwing a party for me. What if I don't want a party. What if I just want to spend it quietly with my immediate family? Nope. He won't hear of that.Of course, I did make a big deal about turning 30 (sans the nasty party thing) and spent forever working on getting him the perfect gift commemorating the big day. Did he return the favor? Nope. It was just another birthday for me. So, once again, I guess I get to make a big deal out of his birthday and just guess whether he'll do the same for me or not.
Wish me luck.
p.s. Are denying the birthday and wanting a huge deal made of it two sides of the same coin? Are they both freaking out? Hmmm....
I guess 40 is one of those magic freak-out birthdays. I have a couple of friends who reached it with no big fanfare or trauma. It was just another birthday. I have another friend who started freaking out about it when he was turning 39. He decided that he didn't want to have birthdays anymore. And he wasn't going to acknowlege them ever again. Of course, his wife, being thoughtful about the approaching milestone planned a big todo for his birthday to soften the blow. That one took a while to get past.
Now, my husband is turning 40 in a couple of months and he's expecting me to throw some big party. I hate parties in general. I don't much like attending them and I certainly don't want to plan one. I'm completely out of my depth. To make matters worse, his birthday is on Thanksgiving this year. Can't have the party on his birthday unless I'm only inviting family. Need to have it right about then, like Friday, while the out of town family is still here. So now I'm dealing with house guests and a party. Two of my least favorite things. And he keeps reminding me that I turn 40 next year, etc., etc. and guaranteeing me that he'll be throwing a party for me. What if I don't want a party. What if I just want to spend it quietly with my immediate family? Nope. He won't hear of that.
Wish me luck.
p.s. Are denying the birthday and wanting a huge deal made of it two sides of the same coin? Are they both freaking out? Hmmm....
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
The Little Mermaid
I love that movie. I have since the first time I watched it. I never went to see it in the theater because I didn't have any kids yet, but ever since I bought it on video, I've regretted that. I could point to great scenes and songs in the movie that keep me coming back over and over again (Kiss the Girl, for example), but to be perfectly honest, what I love most about the movie is one line uttered by Ursula when she's enticing Ariel to trade her voice, something that's very much a part of her but that she'd always taken for granted for what she dreamt about most in the world. As Ariel is objecting to the high price she is told, "Life's full of tough choices, isn't it deary?"
If I had to pick one sentence to sum up my view of life right now, that would be it. When confronted with difficult decisions, I somehow always seem to say to myself that, "This would be so easy if ____." But the problem is, that if isn't true. And it's not going to be any time soon. And sometimes it's the stupidest decisions that tie me up in knots.
For example: In a couple of weeks, our home college football team is playing an away game a reasonable drive from here. If we make the drive slightly longer, we can go through the town where my oldest is attending college and pick her up to take her with us. Now comes the hard part. There isn't enough room in the car to take everyone who wants to go unless I find a sitter for the youngest for a weekend - a very unappealing prospect as far as I'm concerned. But if she goes with, someone has to stay at home, and it's most likely to be the kid who really needs the most love and encouragement right now - the one who needs the special privileges. Of course, I could always stay home with the baby even though I'd really like to go, but then the hubby would be all upset and pouty. I mean, I could use the quiet time at home, but I really don't want to deal with his disappointment. No matter what I choose, someone will be disappointed at the very least. Then, of course, there's the expense of gas, hotel room, game tickets, etc. We briefly considered renting a larger car, but with the current gas prices, that's pretty unappealing, too. So now what? I make a decision and go with it, but what will it be?
Like I said, it's those pesky little if's. There are so many decisions that would be so easy if only.... I guess it's time to face facts and just make the decisions, even though.
If I had to pick one sentence to sum up my view of life right now, that would be it. When confronted with difficult decisions, I somehow always seem to say to myself that, "This would be so easy if ____." But the problem is, that if isn't true. And it's not going to be any time soon. And sometimes it's the stupidest decisions that tie me up in knots.
For example: In a couple of weeks, our home college football team is playing an away game a reasonable drive from here. If we make the drive slightly longer, we can go through the town where my oldest is attending college and pick her up to take her with us. Now comes the hard part. There isn't enough room in the car to take everyone who wants to go unless I find a sitter for the youngest for a weekend - a very unappealing prospect as far as I'm concerned. But if she goes with, someone has to stay at home, and it's most likely to be the kid who really needs the most love and encouragement right now - the one who needs the special privileges. Of course, I could always stay home with the baby even though I'd really like to go, but then the hubby would be all upset and pouty. I mean, I could use the quiet time at home, but I really don't want to deal with his disappointment. No matter what I choose, someone will be disappointed at the very least. Then, of course, there's the expense of gas, hotel room, game tickets, etc. We briefly considered renting a larger car, but with the current gas prices, that's pretty unappealing, too. So now what?
Like I said, it's those pesky little if's. There are so many decisions that would be so easy if only.... I guess it's time to face facts and just make the decisions, even though.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Letters to our troops
Someone pointed out this blog to me today http://combatarms.mu.nu/archives/057594.php and I thought it was a fabulous idea. So, if you're reading this, please write a letter of your own.
Dear Soldier,
I want to take this opportunity to thank you for your service on my behalf and on behalf of my family. It's easy for those of us safe at home to forget the sacrifices that have been made and are being made for us. But in reality we're warm and safe because brave men and women are willing to put their lives on the line to protect our freedoms and the freedoms of others.
I know that it's not easy for you to leave behind friends and family and go overseas to fight an enemy you'd really never known before. And it's not easy for the loved ones you leave behind. But remember that in the long run it's more than worth it. And I, for one, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Oh, and if you're in my little brother's unit, please watch his back.
Thank you,
Handy
Dear Soldier,
I want to take this opportunity to thank you for your service on my behalf and on behalf of my family. It's easy for those of us safe at home to forget the sacrifices that have been made and are being made for us. But in reality we're warm and safe because brave men and women are willing to put their lives on the line to protect our freedoms and the freedoms of others.
I know that it's not easy for you to leave behind friends and family and go overseas to fight an enemy you'd really never known before. And it's not easy for the loved ones you leave behind. But remember that in the long run it's more than worth it. And I, for one, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Oh, and if you're in my little brother's unit, please watch his back.
Thank you,
Handy
Monday, December 06, 2004
Love at first sight
I was recently asked if I believe in love at first sight and I didn't know what to answer. I think most of us (at least the girls) grow up reading books and watching television shows and movies where a couple sees each other for the first time and something amazing happens. Then through the rest of the book or show they fight against fate and avoid seeing the obvious and what-not until, at the end, they realize they were made for each other and enjoy total bliss. And all the while you're thinking, "Someday that's going to be me."
As you get older and look at the world, you become more and more convinced that it doesn't happen like that in the real world. You look at your friends, relatives, and at complete strangers and you're just as positive that if you find love at all out there, it's probably not love at first sight. And only a lucky few find love at all. And the ones who think they've found love realize a year or two later that they were never really in love after all.
But I think the truth lies somewhere in between. Love at first sight? Hmmm.... Maybe overwhelming attraction, but probably not love. To me, love is something much more than that. It's friendship. It's attraction. It's a bond that can't truly be described, even to yourself. And more than that, love changes. It's not always the same. Sometimes it's so overwhelming it takes your breath away. Sometimes it's just a tingly feeling. Sometimes it's just comfortable and cozy. And sometimes it even feels a little suffocating. I guess, though, if love can be all those things that first attraction can be the beginning of love.
That begs the question of when it becomes love instead of attraction. Or, if you take another route there, instead of friendship. And I really don't know. I just know that one day you wake up and realize that love is the best word for this feeling you aren't even sure you had the day before. And it's a feeling you want to last forever. So when you meet a stranger on "Some Enchanted Evening" it may not be your true love, but it may very well be someone you can truly love, given time.
As you get older and look at the world, you become more and more convinced that it doesn't happen like that in the real world. You look at your friends, relatives, and at complete strangers and you're just as positive that if you find love at all out there, it's probably not love at first sight. And only a lucky few find love at all. And the ones who think they've found love realize a year or two later that they were never really in love after all.
But I think the truth lies somewhere in between. Love at first sight? Hmmm.... Maybe overwhelming attraction, but probably not love. To me, love is something much more than that. It's friendship. It's attraction. It's a bond that can't truly be described, even to yourself. And more than that, love changes. It's not always the same. Sometimes it's so overwhelming it takes your breath away. Sometimes it's just a tingly feeling. Sometimes it's just comfortable and cozy. And sometimes it even feels a little suffocating. I guess, though, if love can be all those things that first attraction can be the beginning of love.
That begs the question of when it becomes love instead of attraction. Or, if you take another route there, instead of friendship. And I really don't know. I just know that one day you wake up and realize that love is the best word for this feeling you aren't even sure you had the day before. And it's a feeling you want to last forever. So when you meet a stranger on "Some Enchanted Evening" it may not be your true love, but it may very well be someone you can truly love, given time.
Monday, November 08, 2004
Waiters/Waitresses
I actually had someone tell me not all that long ago, that since restaurant owners and the tax structure figured tips to be a portion of a waiter's wage, that if you receive poor service, you should still give a normal tip and complain to the manager. Isn't that sort of defeating the point of a tip? I mean, if a waiter gives me adequate service, they'll receive an adequate tip. If they give me superior service, they'll receive a superior tip. And if I, or someone in my party, creates a larger than usual hassle for them, I'll tip to reimburse that. So, conversely, if I get lousy service, they'll get a lousy tip. Why is that so difficult to understand?
Okay, okay. I realize that there are people out there who don't tip well for whatever reason they may have. But it's not *my* job to make up for them. As a matter of fact, my husband regularly accuses me of being too generous when I tip. But the point, I always thought, of a tip, was to reward the peson waiting on you (in whatever capacity) for service. Perhaps if they cannot make "enough" money in that sort of field, they should consider what they are and are not doing on the job and perhaps accept that they should be working in some other field.
Am I wrong about this?
Okay, okay. I realize that there are people out there who don't tip well for whatever reason they may have. But it's not *my* job to make up for them. As a matter of fact, my husband regularly accuses me of being too generous when I tip. But the point, I always thought, of a tip, was to reward the peson waiting on you (in whatever capacity) for service. Perhaps if they cannot make "enough" money in that sort of field, they should consider what they are and are not doing on the job and perhaps accept that they should be working in some other field.
Am I wrong about this?
Story Time
Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time there was turmoil and conflict in the world. This country was fighting with that country and they, in turn, were fighting with some other country. And there were subgroups in many countries fighting amongst themselves. There were people in the US who thought we should get involved and police their problems. There were people in the US who thought we should just stay out of it. And there were people in the US who thought that we should just send material aid to those groups whose causes we supported. Then, one day, everything changed. The US was attacked!
How dare they? An attack on US soil? The public was incensed. The president and congress moved faster than we'd seen them move in quite some time. Suddenly troops were being deployed and we were fighting back. We were taking sides. And those poor people living in the US who were associated with the attackers? What of them? Their ability to travel (at the very least) was severely restricted and the PTB's kept a very, very close eye on them. Wo be unto them if they tried anything at all that could be construed as anti-American.
Time passed. Most of our troops that were deployed were not in the country our attackers came from. They were someplace completely different! Sure, the head of this country was a bad man, but he hadn't attacked us (this time). But they weren't the ones who attacked us.
Does any of this sound familiar? I thought it might. Oh, you thought I was talking about 21st century Iraq and 9/11? Sorry about that. I was talking about World War II.
See, we've got people today complaining about no-fly lists based on profiling. Seems a step up from interment camps to me. How about the troops in Iraq? I mean, Sadam's a bad guy and all that, but his people weren't the ones who attacked us this time. Hmmm... Hitler was a bad guy and all that, but the Japanese were the ones who attacked us. What were all our troops doing in Europe?
Oh, and how did we get attacked in the first place. There must have been a clue somewhere and we were asleep at the wheel, huh? Both times. Still not all that different.
How about the horrendous things a few of our soldiers have been accused of doing in Iraq? Killing civilians? Torturing captives? Do you really and truly think NONE of our soldiers did like things in Europe or the Pacific? If so, you're only fooling yourself. It was wartime. In wartime soldiers commit attrocities. Does that mean they are endorsed or condoned by their commanders? No. Does that mean I condone them? No. It just means that horrible things happen in war. And they aren't just done by the "bad guys."
How about the shortages of supplies that our boys are dealing with? Do you think that's limited to this war? I mean, seriously, can you think of *any* war throughout history where the armies had all the supplies they wanted/needed? Is that reason enough to just quit? I think not.
So, why is the current conflict being judged so differently in the court of public opinion? All I can come up with is the media, and it's control or lack thereof. In WWII there were public campaigns about Rosie the Riveter and victory gardens and the like. There were fund-raisers for the troops. Move to current day, and we still have fund-raisers for the troops. But we also have people crying all over the media that if we can't take care of our boys, we should bring them home. Not that we should finish and bring them home, which is, of course, the plan, but that we should just bring them home and leave everything as it stands now. We even have major political figures claiming that we're fighting the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I guess the thing that bothers me most about this, is that these people claim they support our troops, just not our involvement in the war. Let's think about this a minute. Let's say I'm a soldier and I'm off to fight for my country. I'm going to see and do a lot of horrendously appalling things that I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. When I come home, which is going to make it easier? To have people thanking me for doing what had to be done, what they might not have been able to do themselves? Or is it going to be easier to come home and be told that I really didn't need to see and do those awful things, but thanks for doing it anyway?
So, unless you really think it'll help our boys in combat to be told they didn't really have to try to live through hell, support our troops by helping with fund-raisers, sending them things to make life a little easier, sending an encouraging letter, or writing a letter to your own congressmen to allocate more money and equipment for the troops. But don't ever say, in front of me or them, that they really shouldn't be over there.
How dare they? An attack on US soil? The public was incensed. The president and congress moved faster than we'd seen them move in quite some time. Suddenly troops were being deployed and we were fighting back. We were taking sides. And those poor people living in the US who were associated with the attackers? What of them? Their ability to travel (at the very least) was severely restricted and the PTB's kept a very, very close eye on them. Wo be unto them if they tried anything at all that could be construed as anti-American.
Time passed. Most of our troops that were deployed were not in the country our attackers came from. They were someplace completely different! Sure, the head of this country was a bad man, but he hadn't attacked us (this time). But they weren't the ones who attacked us.
Does any of this sound familiar? I thought it might. Oh, you thought I was talking about 21st century Iraq and 9/11? Sorry about that. I was talking about World War II.
See, we've got people today complaining about no-fly lists based on profiling. Seems a step up from interment camps to me. How about the troops in Iraq? I mean, Sadam's a bad guy and all that, but his people weren't the ones who attacked us this time. Hmmm... Hitler was a bad guy and all that, but the Japanese were the ones who attacked us. What were all our troops doing in Europe?
Oh, and how did we get attacked in the first place. There must have been a clue somewhere and we were asleep at the wheel, huh? Both times. Still not all that different.
How about the horrendous things a few of our soldiers have been accused of doing in Iraq? Killing civilians? Torturing captives? Do you really and truly think NONE of our soldiers did like things in Europe or the Pacific? If so, you're only fooling yourself. It was wartime. In wartime soldiers commit attrocities. Does that mean they are endorsed or condoned by their commanders? No. Does that mean I condone them? No. It just means that horrible things happen in war. And they aren't just done by the "bad guys."
How about the shortages of supplies that our boys are dealing with? Do you think that's limited to this war? I mean, seriously, can you think of *any* war throughout history where the armies had all the supplies they wanted/needed? Is that reason enough to just quit? I think not.
So, why is the current conflict being judged so differently in the court of public opinion? All I can come up with is the media, and it's control or lack thereof. In WWII there were public campaigns about Rosie the Riveter and victory gardens and the like. There were fund-raisers for the troops. Move to current day, and we still have fund-raisers for the troops. But we also have people crying all over the media that if we can't take care of our boys, we should bring them home. Not that we should finish and bring them home, which is, of course, the plan, but that we should just bring them home and leave everything as it stands now. We even have major political figures claiming that we're fighting the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I guess the thing that bothers me most about this, is that these people claim they support our troops, just not our involvement in the war. Let's think about this a minute. Let's say I'm a soldier and I'm off to fight for my country. I'm going to see and do a lot of horrendously appalling things that I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. When I come home, which is going to make it easier? To have people thanking me for doing what had to be done, what they might not have been able to do themselves? Or is it going to be easier to come home and be told that I really didn't need to see and do those awful things, but thanks for doing it anyway?
So, unless you really think it'll help our boys in combat to be told they didn't really have to try to live through hell, support our troops by helping with fund-raisers, sending them things to make life a little easier, sending an encouraging letter, or writing a letter to your own congressmen to allocate more money and equipment for the troops. But don't ever say, in front of me or them, that they really shouldn't be over there.
Intro
You know how you'll be talking to someone and they say something that just irks you, but you can't seem to come up with the perfect comeback until days later when coming to them with it would just be pathetic? Or how you'll be driving somewhere alone and you'll have this moment of clarity where something all of a sudden makes sense that never did before, but when you go to explain it to someone they just don't get as excited about it as you do? Well, I've been having a whole lot of those lately. I don't know if it's the elections or just where I am at life in general, but I'm having them. So, I decided to find someplace to write them all down. Maybe they'll do someone else some good. And maybe they'll just give me a place to write them down and remember. I make no commitments to ever post again here. Or to post with any set degree of regularity. Or to even make sense when I post. So if you read, read at your own risk.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)